Monday, February 23, 2009

Ten reasons Why you might not be a Molly Morman

Lately, I have been found joking about not having my "Molly papers", when referring to different parts of my life. So last night I decided to Google "Molly Mormon" and found out that it is in the free online Wikipedia (Encyclopedia)this is its definition.

Molly Mormon is a term for the popular stereotype of a female member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church). A Molly Mormon is thought to be the "perfect Mormon woman" - an attractive[1] and pure[2] woman whose life revolves around the family and marriage and the social demands of Mormonism, like bearing multiple children, and who embodies the cheery, chipper and domesticated female in Latter-day Saint culture.[3] Typically, a Molly Mormon would not dissent against her husband or the priesthood and supports Mormon social and political views unconditionally. Peter Priesthood is the male version of the same term, though used somewhat less frequently.[4] Many "Molly Mormons" are stereotyped as being consumed by their life within the church, and as gullible and out-of-touch with the reality outside it.

These terms are occasionally used in a disparaging way by members of the Mormon church to refer to other Mormons who display or promote an ultra-conservative interpretation of their understanding of the church's teachings. An example of a person that may be labeled this way is one who abstains from drinking caffeinated cola drinks (based on a conservative interpretation of an ambiguity in the Word of Wisdom), won't watch television on Sunday, tells on her 15-year-old friend for dating before age 16, and who insists that others do so as well, perhaps claiming to be "setting an example". Abstinence from these behaviors is not required by the church to remain as a member in good standing, but is often preached unofficially as interpretations of church teachings in lessons taught by members of the church's lay clergy.[5]

After reading it I have with the help of Jim and some of my friends (and the missionaries(they were here for dinner tonight)) You might never receive your "Molly Papers" if one or more of the following fit you or your family: 10 reasons you are not a Molly Mormon but a Redneck-Mormon 10. Your family eats dinner on "Cheap" Paper plates one or more times a week. 9. Your kids have been spotted in public in the last month with their PJ's on. 8. Your 2 year old does not know how to read but, can spot the McDonald Arch from a mile away. 7. When it is time for General Conference the kids ask "where is the popcorn, soda and Candy(that's only to make it threw the opening song and prayer) 6. When you tell your kids its time for Family Home Evening they look at you and state, "How long tell the treat comes" 5. When attending one Sacrament Meeting, you frequent the water fountain more times than you do the Temple in one year. 4. When you take your child out of Sacrament Meeting for the 6th time and he runs up to his Primary Teacher and says "Help, she means it this time!" 3. When you get called to the Bishops office and you are not afraid of getting the new big calling in the ward, but more afraid of what your little one could have said or done in Primary Yesterday. 2. When the primary president calls on a Saturday night to ask if your little one can do the Scripture on Sunday, you yell, "Go get my scriptures, they are in the back of the car with all the church stuff from last Sunday." 1. You get a work out every time the Family Prays - When attempting Family prayer it sounds something like this. Mom "Family Prayer Now" Kids running and screaming "I said it is prayer Time Right now!" This kids attempt to kneel. "Say prayer (child's Name)". While he is praying you are sitting on one, giving the evil eye to anther, and happen to tap (hard) the 3rd on the head because he is bouncing and trying to sing a song. Some times you think it would be better to hog tie them when it comes to saying prayer as a family. 0. Just to make it threw sacrament meeting it looks like your going on a picnic. You have all the food and toys for one in your extra large bag. Like fruit snacks, fruit loops, juice boxes and of course cars, trucks, dolls and all the crayons you could ever need. If you are wondering why there is a zero it is because if you are not a Molly Mormon but a redneck Mormon then you learned to count from zero and not one. If any of this sounds like your family, stop checking the mail box, your "Molly Papers" are not coming. If any of the following sounds like you then I am sure they are on the way. 10 things that might make you a "Molly Mormon" 10. You attend every PTA and Pack meeting in the latest fashion. Ready to do what ever they ask. 9. The only CDs your kids listen to are from the Distribution center or Desert Book 8. All family trips are to see family or to Church History Places 7. Your kids have never worn a store bought Halloween costume. 6. When it comes to Throwing a party of any kind it is all out (of course homemade and very time consuming) 5. If the Visiting Teacher come unannounced, you still have a fresh plate of low-fat, but very good cookies ready for them to snack on while you show them your latest craft project you are working on. 4. The Primary President calls on a Saturday night to have your dear 4 year old daughter, do a talk. On Sunday she comes with Props and of course it is all memorized 3. The last time you went to the Temple (84 hours ago) you brought your own names and your kids sat quietly while you were there. 2. When it comes to Holidays the gifts are always homemade and take at least 12+ hours to do. 1. You walk into Sacrament meeting with your kids following in order, white shirts pressed and hair trim and not a strand out of order. The kids sit with scriptures on lap and don't make a peep threw all the High Council speakers talk.Of course your kids don't need coloring books and fruit snacks. They are listening ready to give full report to dad when they get home. If you think you might qualify the application is soon to come. If not keep trying or Fill out the Redneck Mormon Application that is still to come. I know that know one is perfect, but you have to have humor in everything. It is the only way I can make it threw the day. If I did not laugh at all the fab. things that happen in my life, I would be crying a lot more than I have time to. If this made you laugh at least once then it did its job. Feel free to commit on any of your examples.

1 comment:

Katie Jo said...

The 2 year old your talking about doesn't happen to be mine does it:)?
That was really funny. I laughed till I cried.

Monkey Business

Monkey Business
We always say it is a zoo around her.

Gota love Rachael Ray